My first UK budget airline horror story

London went too smoothly, I was about due for a bitch of a travel day.

London to Glasgow was it.

I should have know it would all be downhill when I arrived at Gatwick Airport and was fined for not having a special Gatwick Airport train ticket.

I honestly thought I could just slap it on my Oyster Card.

But no, it turns out Gatwick Airport is not in London, even though it’s called a London airport – go figure.

Check-in goes smoothly enough, but when I go to check what gate I’m boarding from the sign reads – ‘flight delayed until 22.00.’ It was meant to fly at 6.

Seriously, surely EasyJet could have told me that when I checked in five minutes ago.

Turns out they hadn’t told anyone, so it’s left to the poor sods at the EasyJet information desk to break the bad news – they don’t have a plane for us.

The girl beside me is hysterical, she’s impressively crying and screaming all at the same time.

I just accept my fate and six pound meal voucher (which I soon discover buys you jack shit at Gatwick) and head for the airport pub.

But five hours is a very long time to be stuck at the airport alone with your thoughts, especially when you throw a couple of ciders in the mix.

So I very stupidly pick a fight with Casio watch boy and all I’m going to say is that I’m glad I’m in Scotland, because I’m pretty sure he now thinks I’m weirder than he already thought I was.

22.00 finally rolls around, but to add insult to injury, EasyJet manage to butcher every other aspect of our flight.

They tell us the wrong gate to board from, resulting in us all being bussed to the other side of the terminal.

Our plane then sits on the Tarmac for an hour.

We finally land shortly before midnight and all gather, as you do, at the Gatwick luggage carousel, when in fact our luggage is going round and round the Heathrow carousel.

As a result, I miss the midnight bus into Glasgow and spend the next hour alone with my thoughts -again.

I finally get into Glasgow at 1.30am, half drunk with cider, the other half with fatigue and are met by my bleary-eyed friend who takes one look at me and says – “I don’t even know what to say to you right now.”

But it’s amazing what a good night sleep can do and the next day I wake up human again and in a much better mood, especially after purchasing my Bruce clan tartan and emersing myself in the gritty awesomeness that is Glasgow.

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